The 8 Simple Rules Paradigm
by TerribleWaitress
Summary: A little AU fic, in which Wyatt has eight simple rules for dating his daughter. Based on the rules of '8 Simple Rules'.
1. Rule One: Hands

**A/N - So, this is kind of like my Hello Kitty rebound ****fic. I started working on it ages ago and then decided towards the end of HK I'd share this once it was over. I loved 8 Simple Rules when I was a teen, ah those were the days. Anyway, how this idea came about, I can't remember. But basically… I wrote down the rules and then applied them to a young Leonard & Penny. So we get Wyatt in here, and Meryl too (and later on, Penny's sister). So here is the result. A little piece for each rule. The pieces are not written consecutively so the events will go back and forth in time a little but you'll figure it out. Oh! I guess I should do a little disclaimer, the rules aren't mine, they're from the TV show. Just in case you haven't seen or heard of it. I'll update this every other day since it's all finished, and continue working on my other stuff. Hope you all enjoy, and let me know what you think! :) **

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**Use your hands on my daughter and you'll lose them after.**

"Mom, Dad..." Penny cleared her throat, standing in the doorway, fidgeting with the collar of her blouse.

"Sweetheart?" Meryl turned her head away from the television to look at her daughter.

"Is, uh... would it be okay if, umm... can... can Leonard stay the night?"

Leonard gave a small, awkward smile from where he was standing next to a positively terrified Penny.

"Rule one." Penny's father cleared his throat, standing from his armchair. "Leonard sleeps on the fold-out sofa in your room, and you sleep in your own bed. Rule two? If I hear _anything_ other than talking, you will spend the rest of your life under my eye, young lady. Rule three: when you are in this house, under no circumstances do I want to see any of this ridiculous touching business. If I so much as see anything more than handholding, you will wish you were born without hands. Rule four: Penny, you will be in charge of washing Leonard's and your own dishes and clearing up after him, he is still a guest, and do not let him help you, it is _your _job to ensure your guest, even if it is your boyfriend, is happy here." Clapping his hands together once, he sat back down. "Got it?"

"Yes, Daddy." Penny bit back a grin as she breathed an instant sigh of relief. That had gone simpler than she had expected it to.

She wasn't going to remind him about the lock on her door, so he wouldn't know if Leonard had used the fold-out or not. She wasn't going to remind him that they lived at separate ends of the house, and that it was difficult to hear even _talking _unless you were pressing your ear up against the door. And she most certainly wasn't going to tell him about things that were more than handholding.

"Of course, sir." Leonard nodded at his girlfriend's father.

Meryl simply gave Penny a knowing smirk before turning back to the television. Blushing, Penny bit her lip and grabbed Leonard's hand, leading him back down the hall to her bedroom.

"Is your dad serious about that stuff?" Leonard asked nervously, as Penny closed the door behind them. "I don't want to get you into trouble."

Penny simply shrugged at him. "It's okay. He's not gonna know. Oh, except for the dishes thing. Don't even think of trying to clear up in this house, Hofstadter. I'm not allowed at yours, you're not allowed at mine."

"Alright. Guess I can't argue with that." Leonard chuckled. "You sure he's not gonna know?"

"Duh. There's a lock on my door." Penny pointed out. "They go to bed at eleven, we're safe after then. For now, I need your hands for something _very _important."

"Oh?"

Grabbing her book from her desk, Penny held it out to Leonard. "Show me how to do these freakin' circle theorems! And how the _crap _are you meant to hold the compass steady enough to draw a circle, I keep wobbling half-way round."


	2. Rule Two: Crying

**A/N - Little change of tone here, but gives a little bit of background. We've jumped forward here quite a bit. Enjoy! :) **

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**You make her cry, I make you cry.**

"Sweetheart? What's wrong?"

Wyatt frowned as he walked into the living room to find Penny sobbing into Meryl's shoulder. He sat down in his armchair and Meryl put a finger to her lips and shook her head.

"Leonard..." Penny eventually got out, lifting her head slightly.

"Did he hurt you?"

Shaking her head quickly, Penny turned to look at her father. "No. No, he wouldn't hurt me."

"Then what is it?"

"He's... he's going to college next year." Penny said quietly, dabbing at her swollen, tear-filled eyes with her sleeves. "And I... I'll still have a whole year of high school left."

"Oh." Wyatt frowned sympathetically. He had never seen his daughter cry like this, or even get this emotional over anything. It struck at his heart to know that she was obviously very distressed over this situation.

"I wish I was one of those super-smart kids who could skip a year or something." Penny mumbled to her hands. "Like, I've only just told him that I love him. I thought that was terrifying but now he's... he's just not going to be here anymore."

"Well think of it this way, sweetheart." Wyatt moved over to sit next to her. "You've got... ten months until he goes away. You can still spend your Christmas, Spring and Summer breaks together. In that time, you can make sure your grades stay high as they have with Leonard's help, and you can apply for his college. Over that year, as long as you continue to keep your grades up, you can visit him as much as you want, and he can come down here as often as he wants."

Penny blinked and nodded slowly as she took this all in. "Really? He can come visit when he wants?"

"Yes." Wyatt put his arm around Penny. "And... and I'll help you with your driving, and we can fix up the car, so you can use that to visit him too."

"Thank you Daddy." Penny sniffed.

"Any time." Wyatt smiled. "If he means that much to you that you cry when he hasn't gone yet, then he must be real special to you."

"Aw, Daddy." Penny leant her head on his shoulder, and he was reminded of times when she would do this as a young child. She sighed, wiping at her tears with the edge of her sleeve. "I don't even know why I'm crying so much. I'm so happy for him. I didn't even cry when he told me yesterday, but when I got home it just hit me. Like, I won't see him practically every day. Ugh, this is so _stupid_. It's not something I should be crying about! I'm happy for him. I'm just being really stupid, aren't I?"

"I know, sweetheart. It's not stupid." Meryl put a hand on Penny's knee. "It's not gonna be an easy change, but you'll work it out. Think about it; it's just during the semester he'll be away, he'll be home during the holidays."

"Suppose so." Penny frowned. "But, ever since I met him, he's literally been there the whole time. He pulled me out of the whole stupid underage-drinking, kissing random guys, not studying thing. He'd just listen to _everything_ without making fun of me or judging me for it. I don't really have that with anyone else. My friends are great but it's... not the same."

"You'll still have them to talk to. And you'll have me, and Dad, and your sister, and I'm sure your brother will stop trying to hide drugs in the back of that car if you tell him you need it to visit Leonard."

"Guess you're right. I don't know, I just... it's going to be weird. And I'm really, _really _happy for Leonard. But I know if he sees that I'm upset, he's not gonna wanna go, and he'll be all worried about me. But I don't want him to be, I want him to be excited and happy and preparing for it all."

"Listen, sweetheart, I'll talk to him." Wyatt assured her, chuckling at the horrified look on Penny's face. "Relax, it's not going to be anything bad like that. Just have a little talk. The both of us love you, sweetheart, I'll talk to him so he's not worried about you being upset so he's prepared."

"Prepared? Oh, come on Daddy, what do you think I'm gonna do, burst into tears whenever he mentions going to college?" Penny looked at her parents and rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up. Fine, you can talk to him. But be nice! And make sure he doesn't change his mind."


	3. Rule Three: Sex

**A/N - As soon as I wrote this rule I thought 'it's gotta be an embarrassing Dad moment' so it was just fun to write. Good old Wyatt. Enjoy! :) **

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**Safe sex is a myth. Anything you try will be hazardous to your health.**

"Third date," Penny's father said as he opened the door to Leonard. "I know what that means. Come inside."

"Uh, okay." Leonard took his usual seat on the edge of the couch. "I'm not sure I follow you sir."

Wyatt rolled his eyes, sitting down in his armchair. "None of that cockamamie crap, everybody knows what the third date means."

"Uh... third... third time lucky?" Leonard stuttered, completely lost.

"You really don't know?"

"No, sir."

Leaning forwards, Penny's father lowered his voice sternly. "Three dates usually means sex, Leonard." He paused as Leonard's eyes widened. "Now I don't want you fooling around with my little girl, you hear me? I don't need you two being stupid when you're so young. My wife already spoke to Penny and set things straight with her. But, that being said, I know what it's like, I was young once too, and if you _have _to, _if _you _really _have to..." He reached beneath the armchair he was sat in, pulling out a brown paper bag and held it out to Leonard, who just stared at it as though his girlfriends father had just handed him a live bomb. "I wasn't sure about size, so-"

"Dad!" Penny exclaimed, standing in the doorway, her face as red as her dress.

"There's my little princess," her father grinned. "I just wanted you to be prepared if you kids decide it's necessary-"

"_Please _do not finish that sentence." Penny begged, glaring at her father. "Leonard, sweetie, lets go."

Nervously looking between the two, Leonard backed out of the room to leave with Penny. Penny glared at her father a second longer, before stomping into the room and snatching the bag from his hands. She grabbed Leonard's hand on the way back out and led him down the hallway, out of the house and into his car, which as always was waiting down the stone path on the road, rather than in the drive.

"Why did you bring them?" Leonard asked stupidly, pulling his seatbelt on.

Penny simply smiled sweetly at him and shrugged, placing the brown paper bag on the back seat. "A girl can hope, right?"

"W-what?" Leonard stuttered.

"Oh God, I mean, if you don't want to, we don't have to, I-" Penny panicked, blushing. "It's just, well, I was thinking about it, and-"

"No, no, of course I want to, I just - I mean, if you want to, too, that is... I mean, I didn't even know about the third date rule, your dad just told me, and - and I had _thought _about... _it_, but, you know. I didn't know if you wanted to do that with me."

"Leonard... of _course _I want to do this with you." Penny sighed, before leaning over to kiss him gently. "I... maybe this isn't the best place to be having this conversation."

"You're right." Leonard nodded. "Okay. We'll just go to dinner and... take things from there."

"Okay." Penny bit her lip. "That sounds good to me." She turned to smile at him, and he smiled back, before starting the car. They drove in silence for a while, Penny keeping her eyes on him, before she sighed and was overcome with a worried expression. "Leonard, I've never done this before."

"I know, you told me. Well, you didn't _say _it, but, you were really upset about your Cheerleading friends teasing you be-"

"Oh, yeah, I remember." Penny blushed. "Sorry. It's just my sister told me stuff and it made me _really _nervous. And there was always a rule - if I go to a party, either she picks me up or she meets me at the bottom of the drive. It used to really make me mad because, well, these things should happen, right? But... now I'm kinda glad. Plus, when she wasn't scaring the crap out of me with all sorts of… weird stories, she was all, 'oh, Penny, come on, you need a proper boyfriend' - so, maybe she'll actually be happy about it. Ugh, and my mom gave me this _talk__, _and I think Dad meant for it to be all strict and stuff, but-" Biting her lip, Penny stopped and tilted her head. "I'm doing it again, I'm sorry. I just… yeah."

"Your sister sounds kinda scary." Leonard frowned.

"Hmm, she's not really. She was _really _careless, like, with guys and stuff, and I think that's why she's so overprotective of me, because she knows the consequences. And then there's Dad, who just refuses for me to turn out like she did. But it's okay. My sister isn't back for a while and I'm sure she'll like you. She'll be all 'oh my God you're Penny's boyfriend that's so cute!' and ask a _lot _of questions… I don't really wanna focus on my sister right now. But I'm sure that'll be fine."

"Yeah. Okay. Good." Leonard breathed a small sigh of relief, glancing quickly over at Penny before turning his attention back to the road ahead. "I've never done this before either, so..."

"Yeah, you told me too. It was a sarcastic comment, it made me laugh. What was it? 'Everyone wants some of this nerd action, all day every day'." She giggled at the memory. "But I guess this is just one of those things you can't teach me or learn from a text book, huh?"


	4. Rule Four: Time

**A/N - This is the first one I wrote! All the others were based around what I had set up for myself here. Worked out well for me! Woo. Anyway, enjoy :) **

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**Bring her home late, there's no next date.**

Having rung the doorbell, Leonard stood nervously outside the door to Penny's house, praying that the address was right. He couldn't tell from her handwriting if the last number was a 3 or an 8 - he was pretty certain it was a 3, but he had spent almost a half hour sitting in his room trying to convince himself that it wasn't an 8. She had only ever asked him to drop her off at the bottom of the road, insisting she was fine walking the rest of the way up to her house. It was only the other day that she'd admitted she didn't want her parents thinking it was just another one of _those _guys driving her home, and that they would probably pound him with questions if they saw him driving her back. It was stupid, he suddenly realised, that he had such difficulty differentiating her 3 and 8, considering how often he had seen her write numbers and check over her math work. And her work was even more scribbled than the writing on this paper. Evidently, the one time he _needed _to be confident about numbers, was the one time he was not.

"Leonard Hofstadter?"

A tall man opened the door, and looked down at Leonard.

"Y-yes, sir." He extended a hand instantly, jumpy with nerves and anticipation, praying that his palms weren't sweating.

After a few seconds of taking in Leonard's appearance, Penny's father shook Leonard's extended hand, and gestured into the house. "Wyatt, Penny's father. Come in."

Giving him a small smile, Leonard stepped inside, waiting to the side. Obviously he'd past the 'not one of _those _guys' test. Which wasn't difficult, considering _those _guys wore… well, they didn't wear glasses and he was sure they didn't own suit pants and carefully picked out shirts. If he'd been nervous before, that was nothing compared to now. Wyatt shut the door, and led Leonard over to the couch.

"You have a lovely home." Leonard observed, taking in the warm, comforting atmosphere that was eternally absent from his own home.

"Thank you." There was a short pause, and Wyatt sat down in his armchair to the side of the couch. "So, Leonard, Penny tells me you're at the top of all your classes?"

"Yes," Leonard nodded awkwardly, not wanting to sound big-headed but still wanting to seem impressive to Penny's father. "I'm very academic."

"Good, Penny needs someone like that. She needs to get her head down into those books of hers and get studying, I don't want her failing and living in a house with wheels. I already have one daughter narrowly avoiding that life, I don't need the other one heading that way too. Obviously Penny has it in her to get herself out of the mess she was heading towards."

"I'm sure she won't, sir, she's doing really well with studying now. And she… I think she's doing pretty great."

"Good, make sure she keeps that way. I'm glad you've been helping her and not just messing around." There was a long pause before he spoke again. "Now, what time are you bringing her back?"

"Oh, umm, I-"

"You will have her back by eleven." Penny's father said firmly. "A second past eleven and you won't see her again, understood?"

"Yes sir." Leonard twiddled his thumbs nervously, hoping Penny would be ready soon. He definitely didn't want to risk losing Penny as either a friend or a potential girlfriend, or even study partner, just because of tardiness. He needed numbers on his side. "I promise I'll have her back by eleven."

"Good. You seem like a good guy, Leonard. And I'm sure you know your way round a clock; no excuses for bringing my little girl home late."

"Daddy," Penny sighed, emerging from the hallway, her voice causing Leonard to turn his head to look at her behind him and grin. "I'm not a little girl anymore. Have you been scaring Leonard?"

"Of course not, sweetheart. Just making sure he brings you home on time."

"Oh sure, I'm the little sister I have to be treated like a baby. _She _never came home on time." Penny scoffed, before turning to Leonard and smiling. "You haven't been scared out of taking me on a date by my Dad, have you?"

"No." Leonard smiled back.

"Good."

"You look beautiful."

Penny felt herself blush. "Thank you, Leonard."

"Alright, alright. Back by eleven, but I will _allow _eleven thirty." Wyatt sighed, standing from his armchair. "Your mom will be waiting up. Have a nice evening, kids."


	5. Rule Five: Cars

**A/N - I'm enjoying all this love for Wyatt, ha! Little bit more Meryl here, because we all love her. An exciting day for Penny. **

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**If you pull into my driveway and honk, you better be dropping off a package because you're sure not picking anything up.**

"He's here!" Penny yelled excitedly from the window as she watched Leonard's car pull up into the driveway - her dad had moved his car out of the way specifically. It was now parked at the bottom of the drive, where Leonard would usually park his car.

Wyatt listened out for the honk of a horn for Leonard to announce his arrival, like he would hear many other people do, but it didn't come. He watched as Penny ran out of the room and to the front door to meet him outside.

"Give them some privacy," Meryl scolded her husband as she left the kitchen, swatting a tea towel at his arm. "She's going away to college and she's finally going to be close to him again. Let them have their little moment together."

Wyatt rolled his eyes but followed her into the living room anyway, sitting on his usual armchair, which faced away from the window. "They'll get plenty of privacy now she's going to be at the same college as him."

"That's not the point," Meryl shook her head, "and you know it."

"I mean, I know she's staying in residence, and he'll be in a flat with his friends, but she's already been talking about how in her second year she'll move into a flat with him. That's plenty privacy. Way more than enough."

Meryl rolled her eyes at him. "Listen to you. If that's what she wants to do, then that's great. She's happy; she's in a good place. And, she's the one person in this family who, at her age, doesn't have a completely screwed up life. Penny can make sensible decisions. Besides, you should've gotten used to her needing privacy when she started dating Leonard."

"I just don't see why they need privacy just to say hello to each other."

"Because this is a big moment for her!" Meryl replied, eyebrows raised high, in a tone incredibly similar to the one Penny would use. "Come on, you're only like this because she's moving out." _And probably won't be moving back in, _Meryl thought, though she chose not to voice this.

Just then, Penny walked in with Leonard, hand-in-hand. Meryl got up to hug him and Wyatt shook his hand as they said hello.

"So, we're all set for you to pick up Penny's stuff and go, as you can see it's all waiting in the hall." Meryl grinned. "I just hope it fits in your car!"

"You want a hand loading it up?" Wyatt offered.

With the help of Penny's parents, Leonard and Penny managed to load all of her cases and boxes into the car, though it took all four of them to get the boot shut so it didn't keep springing open. Penny shared a long, teary goodbye with her parents, promising to call her brother and sister to invite them over when she had settled in, and possibly her parents after that.

"You sure you don't want us to come with you?" Meryl asked, smiling at her daughter, only asking just in case.

"It's okay, mom." Penny smiled, taking her mothers hand in her left as her right held on to Leonard's. "But I promise I'll call you tonight. Leonard's going to take care of me and make sure I settle in alright."

"Good. You take care of my little girl, son," Wyatt said to Leonard with a smile. "Make sure she doesn't get into trouble. Remind her to do her laundry and tidy her room. Check she's studying, I don't want her or your hard work, or my money, to be wasted."

"Of course."

"And Penny, sweetheart," Wyatt turned back to his daughter. "I'm so proud of you. We all are."


	6. Rule Six: Waiting

**A/N - Happy new episode day! Glad you lot are all enjoying this, and Wyatt… good old Wyatt. Ha. He seems to be in these constantly! Though it _is _8 Simple Rules for dating my teenage daughter so… makes sense, right? Anyway. Rule six :) **

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**No complaining while you're waiting for her. If you're bored, change my oil.**

Leonard looked at his watch for the fifth time since he had arrived at Penny's house and sat down on the sofa.

"If you're bored I can give you something to do." Wyatt said from behind his newspaper.

"Oh, I..." Leonard stuttered. "Was just checking the time, the movie starts at nine. I'll just... go see how she's getting on."

"Might as well, she's been in her room for over an hour. She's been talking about your visit back since the beginning of last week. Think she'd be waiting for you at the door." Wyatt mumbled. "And I thought my wife took too long getting ready."

Giving a nervous laugh, but feeling slightly concerned as to what was taking Penny so long, he got up from the couch and made his way through the house, down to Penny's bedroom. He knocked on the door, then waited a few seconds before coming in when she didn't answer, closing the door behind him out of habit.

"Penny?"

She emerged from her en-suite bathroom, clad in her underwear and a towel around her hair. "Leonard! Oh God, I'm so sorry, I'm not ready yet."

"I can see that... but that's okay." Leonard smiled, shrugging. "We have some time and I can drive a bit faster." He frowned as he looked behind her. "Why does your bed have no sheet? And why is your comforter on the floor?"

Suddenly, Penny's eyes welled up with tears and she spoke so quickly Leonard almost didn't catch her words. "I had a nap after studying but I wasn't meant to get my period today and my mom isn't here so I had to wash everything first and then I was running late but I needed to take a shower and-and-and this is so annoying because you're down from college for the weekend to see me and I don't even have a sheet on my bed and I got new underwear especially for this and now everything is all _ruined_-"

"Penny, Penny, Penny," Leonard quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. "Shh, it's okay, don't worry baby. Do you want to stay in instead?"

"No, I still want to go to the movie." Penny mumbled into his chest. "Watching Jennifer Aniston films with you always makes me feel better."

"Okay, here's what we'll do. You go get dressed, I'll get a fresh sheet and make your bed, and then we'll go to the movie and have a big bowl of popcorn and plenty of candy. Then we'll stop by the twenty-four hour on the way back and stock up on whatever you want for the weekend. I brought the snuggie you gave me with me, so we can cuddle up under that - plus I remembered to bring down that film we bought at the store last time you came to visit me."

"You're the best." Penny looked up at him, smiling. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

Penny tilted her head up slightly to kiss him gently, before stepping back. "I'll go get ready, I won't keep you waiting any longer. I'm sure Dad's just about ready to come up here and 'bust' us and find something for you to do."

"Yeah, he already offered to give me something to do." Leonard chuckled. "Though he did show me that thing he was working on when I came in, that was really cool."

"Oh, yeah, his 'big project'..." Penny rolled her eyes. "I _told _him he should just ask you for help but he said he'd figure it out... he has not. But don't go offering him help now, I'll bring it up tomorrow. You're mine tonight. So… try avoid my mom and sister when they get back too, they'll be all 'oh Leonard sweetie!' - _blah_. I told them earlier anyway, you're _mine_."


	7. Rule Seven: Pants

**A/N - We're finally meeting Penny's sister! Choosing a name for her was too easy, I just had to do it :) Ha. Enjoy! **

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**If your pants hang off your hips, I'll gladly secure them with my staple gun.**

"So, tell me about your new boyfriend." Bridget, Penny's older sister, grinned as she sat down on Penny's bed. "Though I guess two months isn't really _new_. I just haven't heard about him yet."

"Mom already told you all about him at dinner, and so did Dad." Penny rolled her eyes as she took off her robe and got under the covers, leaning against the headboard.

"Yeah, but I want to hear about him from _you_, silly." Bridget scrunched her nose at Penny.

"Alright." Penny grinned eagerly, sitting up a little more. "Well, like Mom and Dad said at dinner, he's in the year above me, and he's _really _smart."

"So, like, a nerd?" Bridget frowned.

"Yeah, a really cute nerd though. That's me and him in the photo." Penny gestured to the photograph on her bedside table.

"Ooh, he is cute. His glasses are adorable! And kinda sexy, actually." Bridget nodded approvingly. "So how did you meet him?"

"I was in the library because Dad said I need to get my grades up because they were real bad." Penny sighed. "So I was on my own since none of my friends wanted to go with me and I knew I had to study or Dad would stop my allowance. I was sitting there for like two hours staring at this math text book and he came over and asked if I needed any help because I hadn't turned the page or picked up my pencil the whole time. We spent like, the whole week studying together because I had a math test coming up. He was so sweet. Anyway, he asked me out at the end of the week and I just... I was _so _happy and excited. Nobody ever took me on a date before, unless you count making out at the movies when you go with a bunch of friends. Anyway, this was so much better. He's awesome. And," she bit her lip, "it's kinda hot when he talks all smart."

"Aw, that's so sweet, it's like Beauty and the Geek!" Bridget cooed, nudging Penny lightly in the ribs. "So-o, did you finally do it?"

"Bridge!" Penny scowled.

"Oh, come on! You've been going out with him for like two months, surely-"

"Fine, _yes, _I- _we _- did it." Penny blushed, before smirking. "Third date."

"Alright, tell me more." Bridget shuffled closer to Penny.

"Umm, it was at his house. In his, you know, bed. I was nervous because of what you told me but it was _really _good. Except, uh, he had to take me back because otherwise Mom and Dad would have been like, sending out search cars. Though I think they already knew because Mom looked at me funny and earlier Dad gave Leonard a bag of condoms."

"A _bag-_"

"Yeah, it was _so _embarrassing." Penny groaned, before giggling slightly at her sister's horrified expression. "But good, I guess, because I would have been too scared to suggest it."

"Good point. Guess he learned after me that it's best to have them and know than to not have them." Bridget shook her head. "So... a whole bag huh? I hope you put them to good use."

Blushing, Penny nodded. "Oh, yeah. We do."

"Ah, that's my sister." Bridget grinned. "I'm glad it's with someone you actually _like _and isn't going to mess with you. _Trust _me, you do not want to get into that. And if you do I am _seriously _going to bust some balls and pull your hair so hard you have to wear a wig."

"I'm not going to turn into you, Bridge, calm down!"

"Good, I'm just checking."

A knock at the door announced Meryl and Wyatt. Penny called for them to come in, and they grinned as they entered the room.

"Oh, it's so nice to see you both in here again. It's like old times, when Penny was convinced there were aliens hiding under her bed." Meryl grinned.

"Probably better seeing me in Penny's bed than her boyfriend, huh, Dad?" Bridget grinned cheekily, before receiving a smack on the arm from her sister. "Ow!"

"Well, I'll tell you something Bridge, Penny's boyfriend in this bed is far less concerning than those backwards-cap, pants-hanging-off-hips, whiskey-scented guys that spent nights in _your_ bed. And better than some of the guys that Penny would hang out with at school or be driven home by. And besides, Leonard sleeps on the fold-out."

"You didn't do anything with those guys did you?" Bridget muttered to Penny, her protective older-sister mode coming into play.

Shaking her head disgustedly, Penny frowned. "Ew, no. Sometimes just making out."

"Good." Bridget nodded, before turning back to their parents. "At least you got one sensible kid."

"You sleeping in here or in your old room, sweetheart?" Meryl asked her eldest daughter.

"Ooh, stay with me!" Penny grinned. "Leonard made me this really cool laser-clock thingy that he made, it has-" she stopped as she saw her family look at her with raised brows. "I've got a new film we could watch."

Bridget giggled. "Okay, I'll stay here. I want to check out this clock thing."

"Leonard uses the fold-out and he says it's pretty comfortable, so you can sleep there and avoid Penny hitting you in the face in her sleep like last time." Wyatt gestured towards the fold-out.

The three girls stifled giggles at this, Bridget turning to raise her eyebrows suggestively at Penny, who turned bright red.

"Alright, lets leave these girls to it and they can set out the fold-out... which is getting _so _much use these days, good call buying it, Wyatt." Meryl chuckled, shaking her head at her daughters.

They said goodnight, and Meryl waited until Wyatt had walked down the hall before whispering to the girls, "Give him a couple more weeks... he'll come around to the idea of Penny having a guy in her bedroom eventually."

"Two months and he's still pretending Penny's all innocent? Seriously?" Bridget rolled her eyes. "Oh Dad. If only he knew."

"Shut up." Penny sneered at her sister.

"Oh, he does know. He's just choosing to pretend he does not."

"I wish you'd pretend to not know instead of giving me the _look _every morning I come out to get breakfast for me and Leonard." Penny muttered.

"Ah, the _look_." Bridget grinned. "It's better than the 'Bridget, we found those pregnancy tests in your trashcan' look."

"Yeah but the worst part is she gives it to Leonard as well if we go to breakfast together!"

"Eh, you're the last one I'll get to embarrass." Meryl shrugged. "And at least Dad's not sitting at the table with a staple gun in hand."

"Those were the days." Bridget mumbled sarcastically.

"See? You got the good end of the deal, Penny." Meryl nodded. "Anyway, I'm off to bed. Don't stay up too late girlies."

Bridget turned to Penny. "And please remember you're sharing your bed with your sister and not your boyfriend."


	8. Rule Eight: Romance

**A/N - I added the last bit a few weeks ago, completely forgot about it until reading this again just now :) Glad you've enjoyed these little stories, it was fun writing them! I don't know what I'll be publishing next but I'm working on stuff so… who knows. Out of interest, when reading these, when and where do people place these - Pasadena/Nebraska, the present/ten-ish years ago? Thanks for reading, enjoy this final little addition and I shall see you all… soon because I just can't leave Leonard and Penny writing alone. :) **

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**Dates must be in crowded public places. You want romance? Read a book.**

Penny opened the door to Leonard, smiling at him, her eyes twinkling. "Hey."

"Hey." Leonard smiled back at her.

As they always did, they leant in to give each other a quick kiss on the lips.

"Leonard, nice to see you. So, where you kids going tonight?" Wyatt asked, coming into the hallway from where he'd been waiting by the kitchen door.

Stepping inside and closing the door behind him, Leonard gave a small nod to Wyatt in greeting. "To the Italian place in town, sir."

"It's that one where you and mom-"

"Oh, that's very-"

"Romantic." Penny finished for her father quickly.

Meryl emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. "Oh, Penny sweetheart, don't you look pretty. And Leonard, you're looking very handsome in that suit."

"Thank you." Leonard smiled nervously as Penny smoothed down her knee-length red dress.

"I just hope it's a busy night. Two youngsters in a place like that..."

"Come on Wyatt, Leonard's a perfect gentleman and our Penny knows how to behave now."

Penny rolled her eyes but she knew her parents had a point there. With Leonard, she didn't go to underage parties and come home drunk, to have her father tell off whichever guy had driven her home. Though to be fair, it's not as though she'd done anything more than share a kiss over a song with those guys. With Leonard, she'd gotten caught doing more than making out in the back of his car - her parents probably wouldn't be too happy about that. They were right about him being a perfect gentleman though - at least her first time had been in Leonard's bed, and a bed was more than she could say for most of her friends.

"Alright." Wyatt raised his brows. "You kids have a nice time, but nothing more '_romantic' _than hand holding in that place. Don't let the dim lighting fool you into a sense of seclusion."

"Wyatt, they're not going to do what _we _did and-"

"Ooh, mom, I don't really think I want to hear this story." Penny held a hand up. "I'm fine with knowing that they asked you not to come back."

"Yeah, you're right." Meryl frowned in consideration, before turning to Leonard. "That was five years ago, though, we wouldn't do anything like that _now_."

"Oh, don't bring Leonard into your crazy antics." Penny begged. "He already gets enough of that from Bridge and Scott."

"That's true." Meryl and Wyatt agreed in unison.

"Yeah..." Penny looked at the ground thoughtfully. "They really don't set a great example of this family..."

"Oh, that's okay, my family don't exactly set the best example for 'family' either." Leonard shrugged.

"Also true." Penny nodded, before grinning up at him. "Though your mom sure got a surprise when I-" she stopped suddenly, biting down on her lip, deciding that perhaps finishing her sentence with _walked into the kitchen in just your t-shirt because I thought she wasn't home _wasn't the best idea in front of her parents.

Meryl raised her eyebrows expectantly and Wyatt cleared his throat.

"My mom's just... not very familiar with me or my siblings having friends round, especially of the opposite sex, for non-academic reasons." Leonard finished for Penny. "She's a very peculiar person."

"_Non-academic reasons_," Meryl muttered, smirking.

"Shut up." Penny mumbled.

"It was just a bit of a shock for mother to see me reading a comic book and Penny the latest issue of _Vogue _in the kitchen instead of a text book." Leonard nodded awkwardly.

"Of course."

"Either way, just... behave yourselves. There is a barrier between romantic in public and romantic in private." Wyatt stated.

"You're really not making this situation any better, Dad." Penny shook her head.

"Oh, you know what I mean."

"Yes, sir."

"Yes, Daddy."

The four of them stood awkwardly in the hallway for a moment, the girls biting back grins and the guys looking down at their shoes.

"So, anyway, have a lovely time, the two of you." Meryl said eventually.

"We will." Leonard and Penny immediately responded.

Leonard shook his head as Penny bit her lip again. "I mean, uh, thank you."

After saying a quick goodbye, they left the house, both of them releasing deep breaths once the door was shut.

"Your parents are still away on that trip, right?" Penny asked, taking Leonard's hand as they walked down the path towards his car.

"Yeah." Leonard nodded. "Why?"

"Because I'm wearing a red dress, and I have a red nightie for later. That's my contribution to the romantic evening."

"A _nightie_?" Leonard raised his brow at her.

"Okay, I know, but I didn't know what to do so I asked Bridge and that's what she suggested, and then she had to buy it for me because I was too scared to go in there and... it _does _count as romantic, right?" Penny stopped to look at him, suddenly worried that perhaps this was too much and Leonard had been expecting something different when he suggested they do something romantic.

Leonard chuckled, before leaning in to kiss her. "Yeah," he grinned, opening the passenger side door for her. "I suppose it does."


End file.
